Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
