Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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