Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
