We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
