I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
