Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
