Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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