Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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