She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
