Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
