Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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