If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
