As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
