Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
