so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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