it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
