Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
