I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
