Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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