Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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