This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
