Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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