My first STD was from a foam party
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
