Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
