This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
