Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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