these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
