and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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