my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
