your parents love me but you hate me
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
