he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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