She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
