Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
