Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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