I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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