Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
