Your mouth is God's brothel.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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