My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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