Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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