Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
