hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
