Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
