miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
