Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
