My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
