We're facebook friends in real life
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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