so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
