Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
