I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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