Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
